anak-mama

Besok Gita Pulang...

2008-10-30T13:14:00.003+09:00

Pagi tadi aku melongok ke kamar Yogas - Rika yang terbuka.
Dulu itu kamarku, kamar paling besar di lantai atas yang kalau jendelanya dibuka akan langsung los ke balkon/kebun anggrek mama.
Tempat yang indah di pagi dan petang hari karena sinar matahari datang dari dua sisi.
Siang-siang kalau sedang sepi, tangkai-tangkai anggrek mama sering jadi tempat berkumpul burung-burung gereja. Sebuah tontonan yang menyenangkan hati.

Pagi tadi, jendelanya sedang terbuka lebar, beberapa kursi plastik telah di susun di depannya menghadap ke dalam.
Akses ke balkon tersebut, selain bisa dengan melangkahi kusen jendela setinggi 30cm dari kamar Yogas, bisa juga dengan melewati ruang tidur/ruang kerja/perpustakaan/ruang audio-visual Papa dan Mama (hahaha... maklum rumah mungil multi fungsi).
Sengaja Mama meletakkan kursi-kursi di luar untuk tamu-tamu yang mau menjenguk Gita dan Rika. Supaya tidak sesak di dalam kamar, jelasnya.

Lalu aku melihat crib simple berwarna natural kayu yang sudah diselubungi kelambu putih. Menempel ke tembok bersisian dengan pintu. Aha, bedding di dalamnya aku yang belikan... putih bermotif beruang teddy biru, siap menunggu Tuan Putri bermata cerah.

Besok Gita pulang...

I'm so excited... I've lost my words...

Lost In Translation Part 2

2007-12-17T10:52:00.000+09:00

Today's lost in translation:
dayarogu 1:
M: Etiek-san ada jam berapa bisa?
E: dari jam 3 sampai jam 4 Pak.
M: Ok, karau begitu jam tiga saja ya. Eh, no no no, jam tiga setengah saja.

Sambil membelakangi Msan aku tersenyum. Setengah empat? Tiga lewat tigapuluh? Jadi inget waktu SD kelas 5. Barusan balik ke Indo, masih bingung dengan bahasa Indonesia. Sering dibikin nangis di kelas karena ngga lancar baca. Tapi masalah jajan bakso, aku ngga mau kalah. Harga bakso dulu Rp.200 - 300. Uang jajanku sehari Rp.300,-. Dengan mantapnya aku berseru pada Ibu Kantin,'Ibu, baksonya dua ratus setengah ya? (maksudnya Rp.250) Ibu Kantin membetulkan dengan senyum setengah hati, "Dua setengah atau dua ratus limapuluh, itu yang bener." Aku tersipu.

dayarogu 2:
D: Excuse me M-san, but what is this right here?
M: That is WINGS.
D: I see, thank you.
M: You know 'Wings' right? Major company *jelasnya berapi-api* D: *manggut-manggut*
M: The son of 'wings' married with the daughter of 'jaram'. Sama-sama major company. Very good business move.
D: *Senyum sambil manggut-manggut sok ngerti. Dalam hati mikir...major company wings aku tahu... tapi jaram? jangan2 maksudnya JALan? Japan Airlines? Karena orang jepang ngga gitu tarthil ngomong 'L' nya... Hebat juga, orang jepang mau nikah ama orang asia tenggara pikirku. Duit knows no boundaries memang... -makin sok yakin menyimpulkan-
M: *merasa kalau sekretarisnya pura-pura ngerti padahal masih bingung, sehingga perlu penjelasan sedikit lagi* You know, our new office is made by 'Jaram' (kantor kita rencananya akan pindah ke Grand Indonesia.red).. 'Jaram'... You know, right?
D: *kurasa anggukan ku yang kedua layak dapat piala Oscar. Sambil terus berusaha menyimpulkan teka-teki di pagi hari tsb. Semua gara gara tulisan babeh M susah dibaca*
M: Major company marries with major company, very good prospect ya? *sambil ngangguk-ngangguk lalu melanjutkan kerjaannya*
D: *sedikit terdistraksi karena bayangan film meteor garden berkelebat di depan mata, dimana Tau Ming Shi dipaksa kawin dengan putri konglemerat 'A'... padahal cinta sejatinya adalah gadis miskin nan sassy, Sanchay (halah masih inget aja..)*
D: *sambil melanjutkan menyusun reimbursement entertainment expenses si babeh, sebuah lampu menyala di otaknya yang cenderung lebih banyak redupnya. AAHA! 'Djarum' toh maksudnya... halah... Ja -nya udah bener, tapi baca -rum nya pake aksen inggris 'ram'... Cape dehh...

Suatu ketika, datang sebuah jawaban e-mail dari babeh M:
Dian san, turimakashi banyak ya.

Today's vocaburary:
Hochikissu = Hotchkiss = eng ing eng......its a stapler!!!
Konsento = tadaaaa.... socket (colokan listrik)
jauuuuuuuhhh....

Lost In Translation

2007-12-17T10:50:00.000+09:00

Ok, minggu lalu dari tanggal 11-13, divisi tempat aku kerja dikunjungi oleh divisi lain dari kantor pusat Tokyo. Mulai dari booking hotel, pick up service, booking mobil kantor, atur jadwal meeting dengan petinggi2 perusahaan BUMN, semua kami aturkan untuk mereka (para staff jepang).
Sesampainya mereka di Tokyo, kami menerima sebuah e-mail tanda terima kasih:
'Dear all, thank you very much for your kind accomodation during our stay in Jakarta. We are looking forward to see you next month'
e-mail ini di cc ke seluruh staff kedua belah divisi.
Lalu babeh M segara menjawab dengan mantapnya:
'Its a pressure! Looking forward to see you next month'
Kontan aku ngakak dalam hati. Duh, si babeh... kalo emang ngga bisa ngomong 'l' ngga usah sampe sefatal itu dong salahnya. Seandainya seperti ini: 'Its a preasure!' masih bisa dimaklumi kan? Namanya juga orang jepang. Tapi pressure dan pleasure, memiliki arti yang sama sekali bertolak belakang. Ndaghel pisan, nek dipikir2... Huahahaha...
Tapi sebagai sekretaris yang baik hati (uhuk uhuk), aku ngga tega bossku diketawain. Aku kirimin beliau sebuah email japri:
'Msan (Beh..), machigai nai desuka (ngga salah tuh?). You mean 'pleasure' not 'pressure' right? Because they have totally different meanings. Sorry.'
-send-
sambil menunggu, cemas campur geli... aku lirik2 ke arah beliau yang duduk di jam 11 dari posisiku. meja kami dempet. ada bunyi beberapa klikan tetikus....hening sejenak... tiba2 tawa Msan meledak...
'Hahaha! You're right Dsan... I made a mistake ya...'
Dsan tersenyum penuh pengertian ,'Yes, Msan.' sambil ketawa2 juga.
'Very different meaning ya...' lanjutnya masih cengar-cengir.
Aku mengangguk bijak (ciee..)
Tak lama Msan mengirim e-mail lagi:
'Sorry I made a mistype. I meant:
Its a pleasure! Looking forward to see you next month.'
lalu oleh staff di Tokyo dibalas:
'Its our pleasure too. Looking forward to visit next month!'

youtube hit list...

2007-11-26T16:47:00.000+09:00

Dian's youtube top 5 hit list. Hehehe. Think of it as a mixed tape from me... :)

#1.Damien Rice - Blower's Daughter
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UHPTHP4dihA
#2. J-lo feat. Fat Joe - Hold you down
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qX_LgaImEUE&feature=related
#3. Tamia - Officially Missing You
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZFDuJo_sy78
#4. Fievel - Somewhere out there
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jhCP40PpW0k
#5. The Cure - Cut Here
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YnYD-_8uUpA

anak-mama's sms with mama

2007-11-16T17:18:00.000+09:00

anak-mama: Mother how are you...? I miss you (11.31am)

mama: I miss you so much too, but u always busy. Mama dalam perjalanan ke harapan kita (11.46)

anak-mama: I'm sorry mama. I never meant to make you sad (eminem kayo kore!?) . I love you. Sun sayang utk papa juga ya.. Hehehe kalau bisa yang lama sampai supir taxinya malu... (11.48)

Bener juga kata mama, anandanya ini sering terkesan sibuk. Sibuk sih ngga, Ma. Cuma lupa. Lupa sama yang prioritas. Sibuk berdoa minta ini-itu, sampai-sampai yang di depan mata dan sangat amat berharga jadi tidak terlihat. Padahal, kalau sampai doanya terkabul waktu ananda untuk ibunda bakalan fuechau. Okaasan kitto kanashii dayone? haaa.. *namida ga dechatta..*. Doushookana..? Dakara, ima atashi nanka sono inotte chotto chuushi dake de ii [akirameru wake janakute] ? Kamisama yori itadaita made omachi shite orimasu wa..
=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*=*

beralih ke melankoli yang lain yuks... sebuah lagu yang gue dengerin berulang2 sama abang gue Pilar di mobil, pas selasa 131107:

the cure ^^^ cut here

"So we meet again!" and I offer my hand
All dry and English slow
And you look at me and I understand
Yeah it's a look I used to know
"Three long years... and your favourite man... Is that any way to say hello?"
And you hold me...
like you'll never let me go
"Oh c'mon and have a drink with me
Sit down and talk a while..."
"Oh I wish I could... and I will!
But now I just don't have the time...
" And over my shoulder as I walk away
I see you give that look goodbye...
I still see that look in your eye...

So dizzy Mr. Busy - Too much rush to talk to Billy
All the silly frilly things have to first get done
In a minute - sometime soon -
maybe next time - make it June
Until later... doesn't always come

It's so hard to think
"It ends sometime
And this could be the last
I should really hear you sing again
And I should really watch you dance
" Because it's hard to think
"I'll never get another chance
To hold you... to hold you...

" But chilly Mr. Dilly - Too much rush to talk to Billy
All the tizzy fizzy idiot things must get done
In a second - just hang on - all in good time - wont be long
Until later...

I should've stopped to think -
I should've made the time
I could've had that drink -
I could've talked a while
I would've done it right -
I would've moved us on

But I didn't -
now it's all too late
It's over... over
And you're gone..
I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you so much
But how many times can I walk away and wish "If only..."
But how many times can I talk this way and wish "If only..."
Keep on making the same mistake
Keep on aching the same heartbreak
I wish "If only..." But "If only...."
Is a wish too late...

This is another cool example why the cure's music is so intelligently wholesome. Not only the beauty of their melody accompanied by that eccentric vocal that has its own melody to match the instruments, Man!! the lyrics are so poetic. For example, how they play with the tempo on the chorus:
[[So dizzy Mr. Busy - Too much rush to talk to Billy
All the silly frilly things have to first get done
In a minute - sometime soon -
maybe next time - make it June
Until later... doesn't always come]] shows how hectic life can be if we let the less important things take our reign.so they speed up this part.dizzying with the tempo.excellent!

then there's the excess use of these words of regret: should've, would've, could've.

and towards the ending, just where regret really sets in, the narrator of this story can't say anything but this:
[[I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you so much ]]

JUST ANOTHER LOVELY WHOLESOME MELANCHOLIC SONG FROM ONE OF MY FAVORITES. thanks pilar (anakmama numerouno) for the time, the music, the everythings.
♥love you bro♥

in the name of the daughter

2007-11-02T12:52:00.000+09:00

She lies on her back in bed.
The room is dark, her hands cover her face.
She silently weeps. Tears seeping through her fingers down the sides of her cheeks.
Tears of anger, confusion, loss, and need.
Her shoulders tremble as her heart crumbles.
Let her cry.
Let her cry.
Let her tears wash away the expectations, dreams, hopes, and sweet nothings with him...
Sweet nothings. are nothing..
Nothing she can hold.
Nothing she can protect her fragile abstract organ with.
Let her fall asleep, in her heart-shaped garden.
Her tears magically turn into honey dew.
It twinkles in the dawn light and helps her grow.
Let her wake up the next day.
Bright and cheerful.
As the name her parents gave her.
To shine and shine forever on...

Harut and Marut

2007-10-19T11:15:00.000+09:00

Do you know the story of Harut & Marut?

Harut & Marut (II, 102)

When the sons of Adam were given the earth, the angels marveled at their iniquities and protested to God: "Our Lord, Thou hast favored these dust-creatures of the earth, but they disobey Thee." God replied, "If that sensuality that is within them were within you, your state would be the same." The angels said, "We would not rebel against Thee and disobey Thy command."
At God's request they chose two of their number to be sent to the earth possessing sensuality and the other attributes of man. Harut and Marut were the most worshipful and humble of the angels; sending them down to the earth, God commanded them to avoid idolatry, fornication, wine, and the unjust spilling of blood. Eventually they committed all these sins and God gave news of their state to the angels in heaven.
From that day on, the angels have continued to "ask forgiveness for everyone on earth" (XLIII, 5), for they realize that man's sensuality is a tremendous burden, and those able to overcome it are truly the best of creatures.

Artinya:

Manakala keturunan Nabi Adam AS dianugerahi bumi dan seisinya, para malaikat terkesima menyaksikan kedzaliman manusia dan menyampaikan protes kepada Allah SWT, "Ya, Tuhan kami. Engkau lebih memilih makhluk-debu dari bumi ini, tapi kerja mereka hanyalah merusak dan membangkang." Allah berfirman, "Apabila nafsu yang ada di dalam mereka aku tanamkan pula di dalam diri kalian, kedudukan kalian akan sama adanya." Para malaikat menjawab: "Takkan pernah kami membantah Engkau dan melalaikan Perintah-Mu, ya Allah."

Atas permintaan Allah, para malaikat memilih dua dari mereka untuk ditanamkan nafsu dan sifat-sifat manusiawi lainnya di dalam diri mereka. Harut dan Marut yang termasuk malaikat paling rendah hati dan taatlah yang mereka kirimkan ke bumi, Allah memerintahkan agar mereka tidak menyembah berhala, berbuat zina, mengkonsumsi minuman memabukkan, dan menumpahkan darah dengan semena-mena. Pada akhirnya Harut dan Marut mengerjakan setiap apa-apa yang telah dilarang oleh Allah, dan Allah menyampaikan kabar perilaku mereka kepada para malaikat penghuni surga lainnya.

Sejak hari itu jugalah, tak henti-hentinya para malaikat "memohonkan ampunan kepada siapapun dimuka bumi" (XLIII, 5), sebab mereka sadar bahwa nafsu yang dimiliki manusia adalah cobaan yang teramat berat, dan barang siapa yang mampu menguasai nafsu di dalam dirinya dialah makhluk Allah yang terbaik.

-end-fin-tamat-

*segala yang benar datangnya dari Allah, segala yang salah datangnya dari saya.Ting!*

music = friends

2007-07-19T16:35:00.000+09:00

the more the friends
the more the music

this post has nothing to do with friendster.
i just realized this when my cousin tetty came over to import her cds into my notebook.
a coupla years back she was studying in Memphis so I assumed her taste in music would be way different than mine. But I didn't mind. At least I get to try to listen to new music saved in my computer.
- the white stripes
- deelite
- jack johnson
- erykah badu
- ben harper
- iggy pop
- rufus wainwright
- fiona apple
- madonna
- sublime

another friend of mine Mita Koesnidar aka Raphael Hardikusumah is a music leech. you should've seen the collection in her batterred up canibalistic pc at her 3x3 spaceshuttle in Gondokusumanville.heaven is among my playlist playground when i hang out at her place.sewing some stuff just so i get to eat the following day or at least treat rapa for some delicious banana flambe (baca:pisang bakar.red) at Beverly Hills late at night.
-morrissey-the more you ignore me the closer i get
-nena- 99 red baloons
-maxwell - whenever-wherever-whatever
-lee rittenour - waiting in vain

tamie oetomo:
gregorian
neri per caso

abang novenandhana hidayat vijaya (love) introduced me to oldies music sung by a japanese jazz tenor named Emi Fujita. her arrangement and improvising in the remakes of old songs give a floating feeling just before you touch your head to your pillow on your bed.

moonriver
over the rainbow
what a wonderful world
fields of gold
loving you
leaving on a jetplane
wishes
perfect

are among some of 'our songs' which prove that even in this long distant relationship we can still have what other couples have. A song.

introduced to the beauty of barbara streissand, nana muskouri, andy williams, cat stevens, benjamin dan ida royani, tetty kadi, by Mama dan Papa...

Pilar, my punk rockin brother took me through endless nights of banging boomboxes in his room upstairs next to mine. With Nirvana, The Strokes, Gorrila Biscuits, Ramones, The Specials, Mariah Carey (yepp), Social Distortion, The Cure.

the more the music
the more the friends. coz I met Zia through my friend Jack Johnson.

Live Bus

2007-07-18T12:39:00.000+09:00

Sore kemaren pulang kantor, Mba Yuli nawarin numpang mobilnya sampe Salemba. Aku sih hayo-hayo aja. Meski dalam hati aku prefer naik bis dengan rute biasa: Kopaja 19 - Halte Dukuh Atas - Bis Transjakarta - Shelter Sunan Giri - Mikrolet M04 - Jl. Angkur. Enaknya jalan sendiri tuh, bisa ngupingin ipod sambil ngompakin langkah dengan beat. Enaknya numpang mobil orang adalah kepastian dapet tempat duduk dan ngga perlu berdesak2an meringis-ringis munafik seakan2 ngga ikut2an ngedorong2 (padahal iya) ketika manusia2lainnya tak sabaran menyeruak kedalam bis Transjakarta. Hehehe...
Jadilah aku menumpang mobil Mba Yuli, didalamnya ngomongin masalah jodoh. And the moral of our chat was: "Have as many options as you can have and your destiny is the one that shines the brightest. Till then, bloom like a flower and cater to as many bees that visit you."
Di depan RSCM yang macet, mobil Soluna Biru yang kita tumpangi sempet dipepet Bis PPD gedha banget ampe ngegesek spion. Ngeri deh... Mba Yuli cuma bisa pasrah soalnya Pak Hendra lupa ama pesennya yang berbunyi, "Kalo Bajaj ama bis kota mending ngga usah dilawan deh...Ndra."
Aku berpisah di teras St. Carolus, tanpa lupa mengucap terima kasih untuk tumpangannya. Ga lama Metro Mini 49 menghampiri. Yes! Kosong... duduk deh di bangku kedua dari belakang pinggir jendela... Ga lama duduk, di pintu masuk sudah berdiri pengamen bis kota. Bawain lagu Glen-Perpisahan... duh suaranya bagus bangetttttttt.. ampe mau nangis suaranya cakep bener dah. Gue kerahin semua recehan di dalam tas gue buat tu pengamen. Total, sekitar Rp1.800 (sejatinya ongkos gue dari Psr Sunan Giri - Jl.Angkur). 2 lagu, keduanya indonesia punya. Tapi gue ngga kenal yang kedua kayaknya sih lagunya delon idol...ngga minat.
Eh, sampai di Utan Kayu ada pengamen lagi. This time he sang western alternative songs. Dirty Little Secret - All American Rejects and Keane's Everybody's Changing. Suaranya? STD kalo Dimas Djay bilang. Standar. Tapi dia enjoy banget bawainnya, kayak nyanyi buat diri sendiri. Sayang, duit di kantong gue tinggal selembar 50rban. Nyesel deh ngasih semua ke pengamen yang satunya (nyang masih duduk paling belakang sambil strumming his gitar and voice). Jadi sekedar anggukan, senyum miris dan tangan terangkat ke dada meminta maaf yang bisa gue beri. Senyum kan sedekah :). Ga banyak nyang ngasih duit ke pengamen kedua ini, yang langsung turun sesudah menadahkan kantong bekas permen. Padahal gue lebih demen lagu2 pengamen kedua... oh well, life is indeed a box of chocolates..

Trus berdialoglah pengamen pertama dengan kondektur Metromini

Pengamen: bawainnya lagu2 inggris sih... kan ngga semua orang ngerti.
Kondektur: Iya, jadi dapetnya ga banyak.

Dalam hati gue mikir, nih pengamen jiwa profesionalismenye jalan juga.

Eh, ngga lama dia mulai strumming2 lagi dibelakang gue, kali ini lagunya Elvis - Are you lonesome tonight. Lah?

Honey, I'm hoooooooooooooooooooooooooome

2007-06-30T22:10:00.000+09:00

Wah wah wah... akhirnya blog ini bangun juga dari hibernasi lamanya... tunggu karya2 absurd saya yang lainnya yaa...

Happy-happy-Joy-Joy

2006-06-21T21:48:00.000+09:00

She is my mom... He is my brother...

That is me.

Actually, I have to other brothers. This one here is Yogas, the 2nd born, a civil engineer getting his Master Degree. Pilar, the first born is a Diplomat-to-be. Adhya, my baby brother is an immigrant-officer-to-be. I myself, am a translator at a Japanese company.

'Brothers are supposed to say their sisters are ugly'. that's what I heard Kirk Cameron say to Tracy Gold in one of the 'Growing Pains' episodes. Well, I'm not pretty, but I'm happy. I try to be sweet and kind and generous. Perhaps, the saying: beauty comes from within just might work for me. Although I get scared of my selfish tendencies sometimes. Oh, I wish I don't grow up to be one of my aunts. She always remembers and reminds people of her kind actions. We have the same star-sign. But then again my late grandmother (from mom's side) has the same star-sign and she is the least egotistical person I've known. Quite a saver though, my grandmother once saved a box of Macadamia Nut Chocolates from Hawaii for quite a long time. And upon opening it, all we got was dust. Yet, I prefer being like my late granny nevertheless.

Yet, I'm forever grateful for my Grandmother's participating in teaching me how to read the Quran. Cos, in Islam, If you teach something and the person you taught it to uses it, you both will be blessed. Even if you're no longer in this world. The cool part of teaching is, if that someone you taught teaches another person thus the other person teaches it to other people, it's just like Multilevel Marketing... You're RICH!!!--in blessings... and that's what counts in Islam, if you want to live happily ever after.

Oh, did I mention that I'm a Lightworker? Dunno what that is? Well, try using a search engine. You're online aren't you? Sheesh....

Hari Pertama Kerja

2006-03-13T18:05:00.000+09:00

Still don't know what to do yet. But so far I'm trying my best to be of use at this office.

Darling friends...gonna miss you so!

2006-01-05T17:34:00.000+09:00

My last few days of work. People are starting to treat me really nicely. I kinda like it but it kinda hurts also to know that the last minutes of kindness will always stay in my memories... just memories? or will i be able to do something about it, and surprise them by appearing on their front steps and be ready for a whole lot more kindness and love.
Kyoto friends, according to appearance: Ai from Doshisha, Takayuki-kun the nicest boy ever (strong-willed also), Kana `kawaii` Mutu and her sweet boyfriend Todd, Palace Side Hotel Staff, Eri and Kazu, the sekai matsuri team, Yumi Okuyama... ne minna! mata kimitachi no mae ni modoritai wa!!!!

Hoaaaheeemmm

2006-01-04T12:30:00.000+09:00

Umur ngga menentukan kedewasaan seseorang. Mau umur lo 12 kek, 54 kek 105 kek... belom tentu. Dan orang lain pun ngga akan bisa menilai tingkat kedewasaan kita, vice versa. Kalo sampe kita sok ngenilai kedewasaan orang lain, saat itu juga kita harus mulai mempertanyakan kedewasaan kita sendiri.

Kedewasaan berpikir, menurut gue datang dan pergi seirama dengan tingkat kejernihan hati dan niat. Niat yang baik, apapun itu biasanya dipikirkan dengan hati yang jernih. Memang, apa yang kita anggap baik bagi orang lain itu relatif. Dan bukan ga mungkin ada sedikit kebokisan terselip di dalamnya. But, over all, its the thought that counts, asal maksud kita baik dan asal kita ngga memaksakan kebaikan itu sbab apapun pasti susah dijalani apabila ada rasa terpaksa, even yang namanya kebaikan.

Balik lagi ke masalah kedewasaan... hari ini kita bisa aja mengeluarkan kata-kata bijak eh, tau-tau besok udah make topeng peter pan lagi dan ngga mau brenti becanda. Kesimpulan gue (terhadap kata 'dewasa' yang selama ini belum pernah nempel di depan atau di belakang nama gue. ditambah pula orang2terdekat gue, bahkan gue sendiri, selalu mempertanyakan tingkat kedewasaan yg gw miliki), hidup itu bukan masalah dewasa ngganya seseorang melainkan 'baik' 'ngga'nya hati seseorang dan mampu-ngga'nya hati itu berjuang demi kebaikan. sbab kalo udah ketempel kata dewasa, kok rasanya udah tua gitu lho.

intinya: kejernihan kebersihan pikiran penglihatan ucapan pendengaran dan perbuatan.

2005-12-12T12:50:00.000+09:00

oke, now I've come to my last few weeks in kyoto. It is an unforgetable experience. although I've screwed up here and there. I really, truly want to come back here. on my own. Insya Allah. Doakeun yaaaaaa!!!
I rented some videos for mom last night with Pak Najih's tsutaya rental card. Deep end of the ocean was the first to go through our VCR, thank goodness mom liked it. I also rented Heart of Atlantis and Neverland. Hope they turn out good as well.

Oh well, gotta get goin.

si yuu latre alligatre... hehehe...

sigh

2005-11-18T16:44:00.000+09:00

growing up is tough business.

I keep repeating these words, coz I somehow feel I haven't done much of it yet. Emotions get me all worked up, and all of a sudden I hurt somebody else's feelings or I ruin an already good situation. Obviously, if I want no further regrets I sure have to suck in some guts and do the right thing no matter how hard it may seem, no matter what consequences it has that might hurt my pride. It's my mistake. I gotta fix it. Or else I'll leave a stain in people's memories of me. I've done that once, 2 years ago at KKN and I'm not willing to let it happen again.

My friend advises me to keep my cool and be the usual confident and sweet person I am(yeah, right..lol). Until the person I hurt can open up again, thus my apologies will be accepted and hopefully things will be as they were. wish me luck!

Audzubillah...

2005-11-13T12:26:00.000+09:00

Aku berlindung pada Allah dari godaan syaitan yang terkutuk.

Setan memang ada dalam darah kita. Setiap helaan nafas yang luput dari dzikir. Setan terselip di situ. Dalam perbuatan, ucapan, penglihatan, pendengaran, pikiran.

Bencinya setan terhadap kita yang hanya diciptakan Allah dari segumpal tanah^sedangkan dia dari angin api^ditunjukkan dengan usahanya untuk menjerumuskan kita semua kedalam lembah panas tak terperi.

sejelek-jeleknya syaitan, sebenci-bencinya dia terhadap kita. ternyata ada satu hal yang bisa kita contoh dari dia.

Dia sangat memegang janji.Janjinya pada Allah untuk membuktikan bahwa manusia tidak pantas dipuji, dia pegang terus sampai sekarang. Dan dia betul-betul tekun dalam hal itu.

dan siapa tahu,ketika semua ini selesai. ketika hari perhitungan datang. Allah yang Maha Pemngampun itu akan memaafkan kesalahan setan dan tinggallah manusia-manusia celaka terpanggang api neraka. And, semoga kita bukan salah satu dari mereka, Amiin.

like a moth to a flame

2005-11-13T12:00:00.000+09:00

like a moth to a flame being burnt by the fire
that`s the way love goes.

lately, I keep reminding myself to get my priorities right. Get a grip Dian. Think straight. Stride straight. This isn`t you. You`re strong in your own way and you have a wide open road ahead of you.

Boys are toys.

I think I need a little bit of detergent in my brain to wipe clean his image and kindness. I`ll head-bang until foams of soap come out of my ears.

Oh, I hope he hasn`t realized that I have a crush on him yet. I don`t think I can face another guy whose head is stuck up in the sky knowing someone as sweet as me has feelings for him.

Sorry boy, it`s your loss.
You had the chance, but you let me go...
Like a comet that chance only comes in a couple of hundred years. You blew it, better luck next time, bro!

loser banget? ngga sih. It`s just my own wierd way of growing up and facing reality

Gue ngga selapar itu kok. wek! ;p

2005-11-09T15:48:00.000+09:00

gue ngga selaper itu kok, sampe yang ada di depan mata langsung gue lalap. itu bukan makanan gue. makanan gue adalah makanan yang khusus. selapar apapun gue, gue ngga boleh nurunin standar, ntar malah sakit perut karena nurutin nafsu.
makasih ya, om. nasihatnya ngena bener...

no longer falling for you

2005-11-08T12:30:00.000+09:00

I'm the fool
I'm to blame
What was I thinking?
Did I think my will power was strong enuff to enter you heart?
What blinded me to hope for something so distant?
If someone can't learn to love me within, say 2 or 3 months, no matter how much I show it, that means he doesn't feel the same.
He's just too kind to everyone is all, including me.
So accept it.
But I won't change, I hope.
I might just need a little bit of time so my heart can calm down. can cool down.
The love and disappointment of rejection to fade away.
And I'll be my normal self again.
Except no longer falling for you.
I promise.

yamete kure yo Dian! Muri yo Muri!

2005-11-08T12:24:00.000+09:00

Should I scold my heart for falling head over heels for you?
Should I punish my mind for creating tacky romantic scenes with you?
I give up.
It seems, I can't like someone sincerely.
I can't love someone sincerely, a lopsided love won't do for me.
Please, stay out of my life.
Don't be kind, coz I'm the selfish type
Don't be sweet, coz I'm the greedy type
Get to know my bad side, coz I don't want you near me anymore.
Please, stay away from me.
I hate you. I think...

huaaaaaa jatuh meneh...

2005-11-07T12:36:00.000+09:00

gue jatuh lagi, horeeee!!! jatuh dari sepeda. pulang gawe, ujan-ujanan ribet. satu tangan pegang payung satu tangan pegang stang sepeda. lagi konsen ama payung ngga liat kedepan. tau-tau udah ada tiang listrik menghampiri (apa gue yang ngampirin, udah gak jelas dalam ingatan). gue banting stang kekanan malah nyusruk masuk parit dan tulang rusuk menghantam sudut parit. sempet sesak napas sebentar. gue terduduk. sepeda ngegeletak tak berdaya. keranjang sepeda gue kelipet dua dan payung gue ngga berbentuk lagi. pertama kali gue langsung telpon temen gue orang indonesia si aniky yang baru aja pisah karena dia harus gawe lagi. tapi gue lupa kalo hpnya is dead. bingung mau ngapain gue cuma bisa nelpon nyokap dan bilang, "mah, dian jatuh lagi." ada dua orang lewat tapi ngga bilang apa-apa apalagi nolongin. gelap-gelap, hujan-hujanan duduk di jalanan, pantat basah.
tiba-tiba malaikat gue dateng. seorang bapak-bapak paruh baya dengan flash stick merah di tangan, nyamperin gue. "daijobu (r u ok?). telp ke nyokap gue matiin, dan jawab "daijobu desu." langsung gue berdiri berusaha keliatan tabah. tapi malah ga ngapa-ngapain, boro-boro berdiriin sepedah. cuma megangin payung dan si bapak ngambil tu payung dari tangan gue(apa masih bisa disebut payung? lebih mirip besi dan plastic vinil kusut) lalu dibuanglah ke parit tempat gue jatuh itu. dikasihnya gue payung dia sendiri. dia pakai jas hujan. setelah itu dia ngeberdiriin sepeda gue, dan meluruskan keranjang yang babak belur. sambil mulutnya menggumam,"kawaii sou(duh, kasian bener)". duh, mak. mau nangis rasane. terhura kok ada malaikat baik banget ya?
"daijobu?hitori de ikeru?(ga papa? bisa jalan sendiri?)" gue yang ngga bisa ngomong apa-apa selain arigato gozaimasu sambil membungkuk lebih dalam dari biasanya. berkali-kali.

Alhamdulillah....meskipun jatuh gue bisa ngerasain kebaikan orang jepang yang bikin rasa sakit dan memar dibadan, rasa black forest.

lebaran yuk lebaraaaaaaaannn!!!!

2005-11-04T12:23:00.000+09:00

kreatifitas menulis lagi surut dengan luruhnya dinding rahim gue. terasa banget lho yang namanya PMS. wuijh, hormon-hormon jadi pada bandel dan ngga mau diatur. bawaannya pengen jatuh cinta, marah-marah sambil sekalian kentut. batas teritori udah kayak yang disiram pake minyak tanah aja gitu. ada percikan dikit bisa kacau semua. sekarang eh, maksud gue hari ini bakalan ada orang yang gue jadiin sasaran bulan-bulanan cewek datang bulan. habis tu anak rese bener.

udah baik-baik diundang buat berlebaran di rumah sesudah sholat Ied. e e e e , ga dateng trus malah nyolot dengan pembelaan dirinya.

situasi: tiga hari sebelum lebaran

gue: ntar lebaran, habis sholat ied ke rumah gue ya? diundang mama, makan-makan.
die: iya
gue: nih gue kasih nomor hp dan nomor apaato gue, kalo lo dah nyampe di pintu masuk apartmen, daripada lo buang-buang pulsa lo telp aja pake internal phone.

pas hari H-nya, sore-sore jam 4an diterima sebaris sms.

die: yan, gw maleman gt k rmhnya gpp gt?
gue:gimana donk lo. org dah bubar. bsk aja deh gue bawain mknan ke t4 gawe. nyokapbokap cape. besok gw gawe jam 1.
die:lho emang dr jam brp? gw g tau. kirain jam brp aja blh.
(dlm ati: mbah lu yang boleh dateng jam brapa aja, kalo lu? mah kagak!)
gue:gw dah blg. stlh sholat ied.nyokapbokap br aja istirahat.td rame bgt. besok ya, . minal aidin wal faidzin.
(gue kirain dengan kata-kata lembut begini, tu anak bisa maklum dan mengaku salah.... e e e e...)
die: kan ga jls sholat ied juga jam brp... minal aidin wal faidzin.
dengan gondok dan ibu jari gatel hendak merangkai kata-kata mutiara, gue putuskan untuk tidak membalas sms terakhir yang bodoh sekali menurut gue. orang mau lebaran, mau sholat ied bukannya cari tau kek ke mesjid, jadwal sholatnya jam brape? gue juga yang disalahpun. kesel!kesel!kesel!bentsiy akuh! dikiranya orang gampang apa, niatin puasa sebulan penuh buat membersihkan diri, blon genap sehari sucinya sudah dinodai dengan marah-marah ga jelas ginih.

stay by maurice williams (OST. Windstruck-My sassy girl 2)

2005-11-01T10:41:00.000+09:00

Stay

Ah, just a little bit longer
StayPlease, please, please, please
PleaseTell me that you're going to
/ G Em C D7 / :
Now, your daddy don't mind
And your mommy don't mind
If we have another dance, dear,
just one moreOne more time
/ " / / / Em - - - /
Oh, won't you stay
Just a little bit longer
Please let me hear
You will say that you willSay you will
/ " / / / G C G - /
Won't you press your sweet lips to mine
Won't you say you love me all of the time
/ B7 - - - Em - - - / A7 - - - D - - - /
StayJust a little bit longer
StayPlease, please, please, please, please
PleaseTell me you're going to

Come on, come onCome on and stay

this time,

2005-11-01T09:30:00.000+09:00

with you.
I want no regrets.
Even if we're not meant together.
shite mite mo ii yo (just give it a try).
the purest of my love yet, I think I'm ready to give.
Not just words, promises.
No more premature lust.
just let our feelings do the talking, not our physique.

you're too special to spoil.
this feeling is too special to spoil.

seperti bunga yang ngga boleh dikasih terlalu banyak pupuk.
ntar malah cepet layu (kata mama).
Biarkan akar-akar menguat mencengkeram tanah mencari hara.

take it slow, know me better, know you better.
come on, lets laugh and talk about our childhoods till its time for me to go home.