I want a pet cricket

Not the nagging one Pinochio has. Not Jimminee Cricket. Not the copper ones in a red box that was Made in China which automatically chirps when you open it.
I want real crickets. Crickets that are brownish, with icky roach like legs and greasy bodies. I'll put them in a flower bed in front of my bedroom window to keep me company at night. Especially on a night like this.
What do crickets eat anyways? Leaves I hope. They have to be vegetarian. Cause I want my crickets to stay in good shape so thay can live longer and rub their feet on their wings all night long.
I remember my dormitory days, when the landlady was so 'shush..shush...', me and my dorm-mates bought a bag of crickets from the bird market and let them free in the inner yard. That was fun. Surely the landlady wasn't going to jump all over her precious flowers or spray pesticide on 'em. So she had to deal. And we enjoyed the sounds of the suburbs for quite a while.